Tomorrow will be 8 years since the love of my life chose to end his life.

On June 24th it will be six years that I lost my grandfather

(also the day I buried my love 8 years ago.)

On October 21st it will be 8 years since I lost my grandmother

(my grandparents were like my parents.)

Aside from my children, in a 2-year span I lost the three people that loved me unconditionally.

Three people that loved who I was and never tried to make me into something I wasn’t.

Tomorrow is the first time I’ll be at work for my love’s death anniversary.

I know it has been 8 years, but I’m scared to death.

I know that grief comes and goes in waves. There are many triggers that you have very little control over.

So tonight, I think about the fact that about this time he left me. He kissed me and hugged me knowing he was never going to see the boys or I again. He chose to spend his last 72 hours with us.

I was angry for a long time that he put me through that. Constantly being peppered with questions from his family and friends about what his last days consisted of…

Now, I’m just grateful that he was with us and happy.

-Cambridge Hossfeld