The Grief Practice - An Exploration & Explanation of Grief In The Body

Let’s talk story

This learning has personally and professionally sh

Love without demands allows for listening, which g

I am so looking forward to hosting this retreat in

As humans our grieving brain is part of our entire

Not being able to turn away from grief as a trauma

Not being able to turn away from grief as a trauma response.

My creation of this page years ago flowed from a common not-being-able-to-turn-away response many experience post loss.

Many who offer grief support move lovingly-yet-unknowingly from this place.

When this appears to be a personal or professional focus it can slide under the trauma response radar.

In some cases we experience this through our actual eyes feeling glued to a certain field of vision, cueing the rest of our bodily experience to brace or hold - our muscles, our posture or our breath.

For good reason, as often the initial impact of our loss was witnessed by us or blindsided us. In either case a hypervigilant gaze can feel safest (internally, externally, literally or figuratively.)

Sometimes this manifests as our inner focus when we can’t stop seeing a certain memory. Or in our outer focus, exclusively and sometimes exhaustively focused on speaking about grief, writing about grief or supporting others who are grieving.

What is it like to turn away? To shift our gaze even momentarily? To even consider that as a possibility? What moves into that space?

This can be explored somatically by working with our actual eyes through recruiting our mammalian orienting response both intentionally and instinctually. (Sidenote: this is not EMDR)

There are endless ways to explore what it’s like to move from a place of true choice after loss.

Exploringly yours xox-Monique
______
May 2023: Move With Grief: A Wellness Retreat in partnership with @soulgayoga. Details coming soon!
______
#onwardcourageousheart #griefinthebody #hopeinthebody #somaticexperiencing #traumainformedyoga #traumainformedcare #orienting #griefsupport #grief #traumaticgrief
📸@daniellaphoto

When we share our loss, circumstance, or experienc

When we share our loss, circumstance, or experience and the other person simply says, I’m sorry, and then pauses.

This is one of the most impactful relational spaces into which the feeling or sensation behind the words can actually be felt, acknowledgment can be received, and deep accompaniment can be known.

It requires a certain courage on both sides of the exchange. The person who says the words knowing they’re enough and not adding more (explanation or advice). The person hearing the words holding back the instinct to respond immediately or fill that moment of truth with more words.

These are the moments that highlight how expressing is different from experiencing. Why we can say the same thing a hundred times but this time, this time something changes. Not the content but the way it is held, inside us and between us and another.

Our knowing of it changes even if we still don’t understand it.

May we all feel supported in our expressions of grief and our experience of grief.

Yours in the pause xox-Monique
_______
May 2023: Grief Wellness Retreat, Southern California. I’m partnering with my good friend @soulgayoga for this long-awaited offering. Details coming soon. DM me to be added to the waitlist, space is limited.
______
#onwardcourageousheart #wehumanon #griefinthebody #hopeinthebody #grief #relationalsafety #griefsupport #somaticexperiencing #traumainformedcare

have you forgotten you are made of fire because yo

have you forgotten
you are made of fire
because you fumble through the ashes of your life
cold, feeling forgotten

have you forgotten
you cannot be extinguished
because you are the dying ember and not the flame
struggling to hold the darkness at bay

have you forgotten
you are life
because you hold death in your bones
because you hope on an inhale and give up on an exhale

have you forgotten
you are not alone
because no one says their name
because the universe of compassionate humanity has not yet reached the doorstep of your heart

have you forgotten
you are more than the sum of your parts
because your story of what has happened is louder than the truth of who you are

unforgettingly yours -Monique
_______
#griefinthebody #hopeinthebody #grief

Often this idea of “controlling our emotions”

Sometimes grief wafts in through the vents while w

Sometimes grief wafts in through the vents while we sleep
infusing our dreams with them and our waking with a new kind of melancholy.

Sometimes grief pelts the windows and roof shingles all day long
relentless with its presence and pounding
demanding we notice it.

Sometimes grief crawls into our arms as we weep
aching to let us know we are not as alone as we feel
immune to rejection from us because it is us.

Sometimes grief smokes us out of our own heart
forcing us into our arms or other people’s arms
until one day we realize it’s safe to return, we can breathe here again
be here again.

Sometimes grief lands on our shoulder in a moment of silence or peace or laughter
because there is finally room for it
to be seen, named, known.

Sometimes grief holds us hostage and sometimes grief sets us free
knowing we are neither the captive or the freed
always we are the one who holds and beholds both.

Lovingly yours xox-Monique
_____
#onwardcourageousheart #griefinthebody #hopeinthebody #grief #griefsupport #consciousness #metacognition

Load More... Follow on Instagram