The Grief Practice - An Exploration & Explanation of Grief In The Body

Let’s talk story

“Revolution is not a one-time event.”-Audre Lo

“Revolution is not a one-time event.”-Audre Lord

Forgive us if we don’t talk so much at first or

Forgive us if we don’t talk so much at first
or if we talk too much.
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Even though our stories have similar endings
no two of our hearts broke apart the same way.
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Don’t worry if we take to our bed or the bottle or the next plane to nowhere.
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We are looking for people who can hear us without trying to heal us
who can witness us without writing us off.
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If we forget to say it, thank you for walking with us a stretch
for visiting us in this land of loss instead of banishing us to it
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for building that bridge from your heart to ours so that when we are ready
we can find our way home.
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#onwardcourageousheart #griefisapractice #healingisanart #grief

It’s okay to not want to heal. . We don’t alwa

It’s okay to not want to heal.
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We don’t always want to heal. Healing can feel like the farthest thing from our loved one, so why would we want to heal.
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Many people don’t understand this piece of grief. It scares them and they try to shame us into helping ourselves or fixing ourselves or snapping out of it. They just can’t understand how we can’t help ourselves when there is so much “grief help” available.
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We each find our unique way through the tremendous human experience of grief. So much of how we respond is a function of our previous life experiences, current support systems and our unique neurobiological wiring.
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Don’t stand for people shaming you about how you are or are not healing. It’s okay for people to be uncomfortable with how grief deconstructs or reconstructs us.
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There is no right way to grieve. There is just your way.
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#onwardcourageousheart #griefisapractice #healingisanart #grief #healing

The first time I landed in my own body was five ye

The inner collapse, the outer collapse, the nevere

Even now, when we are physically distanced. Especi

Even now, when we are physically distanced.
Especially now, when we are physically distanced.
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When we lose someone close to us in death we lose the co-regulation they provided; the medicine of their presence or words, how it soothed us or boosted us physically or emotionally.
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This can throw off our ability to self-regulate, just as if we lost a limb we would have to learn to balance and hold ourselves up and engage with the world in a new way.
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There is the old saying that it is the relationship that heals, not necessarily the tool or medicine or technique. There is so much truth to this as neuroscience continues to reveal.
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When we can’t ground ourselves another safe human can be the ground we are connected to.
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When we can’t calm our breath listening to someone else breathe can soothe our anxiety.
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When someone else is there to catch the pieces it can feel safer to fall apart.
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We have needed other humans to survive since the moment we were born. Reaching out to another human can be scary and vulnerable. It can be easier to reach for the thing or the tool or to talk about how we feel instead of feeling how we feel.
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And we heal in relationship. It’s not that others heal us, it’s that they help us feel safe enough to step into our own ability to heal.
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#onwardcourageousheart #griefisapractice #healingisanart #grief #coregulation

Our stories of grief begin long before we lose. Th

When grief slams into our hearts many of us reach

When grief slams into our hearts many of us reach for anything and everything in an effort to stop the pain and the wild rocking and internal chaos. We sometimes think the stop gaps or anchors are supposed to stop the pain or the feelings because they feel overwhelming or we are made to feel grief is bad or the feelings are inappropriate or that this is something we need to stop or fix.
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An anchor on a boat does not stop the boat from rocking. It does not stop the waves from coming overboard. It does not stop the people from falling down.
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An anchor keeps the boat from being swept away.
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There are ways to feel the feels, to accompany ourselves through this tremendous human experience without jumping ship.
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There are ways to ride it out by finding ways to express what we feel. Because what is shareable becomes bearable and we are not the only one trying to dock this piece of our heart.
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For some anchor ideas see “Anchors” in my stories. For help learning to ride out the storm of feelings find a good therapist!
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#onwardcourageousheart #griefisapractice #healingisanart #grief

Crying "for no reason" during or after your yoga p

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