I missed the call from my brother-in-law.

I could tell through his voice, though his voicemail didn’t say what had happened.

I called back, sobbed, and wandered through the house to find Craig.

I asked the airplanes about their bereavement policies to no avail and more discomfort.

I remember my dad insisting that no one would place blame.

I spent three weeks in relatively calm shock while listening to the grief process and advice of those who knew her.

Everyone meant well, I could see that.

The layers of sorrow seemed to include pain, fear, sadness, and perhaps pity. Not many had any experience with major depressive disorder, much less death by suicide.

Nearly 7 years have passed, and the most convincing truth that I’ve gathered is:

I’ll love and miss my momma forever.

-Anna Lisa Stump